Before You Go
by MollyDawes-James
Summary: Was 'I was expecting something a bit more romantic than ditto!". CJ has come back and is desperate to win Molly back, will he succeed or has he lost her forever?
1. Chapter 1

_I was expecting something a bit more romantic than Ditto!_

_A series of one shots about Charles and Molly, inspired by songs. Links to the song are under the title. Some are romantic, some are sad and some are inbetween. Rating a T but will inform of any smut beforehand! The chapters are unrelated._

**I Miss You- Clean Bandit**

( watch?v=uZs1AHQBz24)

**I know you didn't call your parents  
And tell them that we ended  
'Cause you know that they'd be offended  
Did you not wanna tell them it's the end?**

He sat in his bedroom and stared at the phone in his hands. Several times his fingers had scrolled past her name, clicked on it, and then thought better. He knew he had been a pretty shitty husband recently, hell he had been a shitty husband for a while now, but he couldn't face the fact that she had ended it with him. He knew it must have been hard for her to end it, and even harder when she had heard about what had happened between him and Georgie but she was still there after the cliff jump. There to heal to his (thankfully) superficial wounds and to offer him support. She had stuck with him throughout tough therapy sessions and was there whenever he needed her. He was recovering, slowly but surely and he was beginning to find himself as the man he once was. But they were still separated. She no longer lived in their home, they were not intimate (in fact Charles doubts she will ever want to touch him again), and conversations are brief; only about therapy or exchanging pleasantries.

But he needed to hear her voice right now and know she is safe. Molly was currently deployed in Haiti, providing medical equipment and humanitarian aid. However, Charles had heard of trouble in the area which had resulted in her section needing additional military backup and the assistance of the Special Forces. He knew through Spanner that Molly was safe, but he needed to know for himself. It was 10pm in Haiti, he knew she would be awake, sitting alone somewhere with a cuppa filled with sugar. It was the perfect time.

She answered the phone after 4 rings.

"_Hello?"_

"_Hi Molls, it's me."_

"_Yes Charles, I do have caller ID" _

This made him chuckle slightly, even when they weren't together and he had seriously fucked it up, she could still make him laugh.

"_What's goin' on, it's late. Is Sammy okay?" _

"_What? Yeah he's fine. I just wanted to talk to you…to hear your voice. Is that okay?"_

"_Erm…yeah but I don't have long. Up early n all that."_

She seemed wary and Charles completely understood why. The phonecall was unexpected and to be honest, he had to right to contact her, but he would rather she reject him than him not hear her voice.

"_How's Haiti?"_

"_Same shit different country mate, but I bet you didn't phone to ask about work"_

"_I just needed to hear your voice, know that you're okay. I miss you."_

"_Yeah. Hows Sammy took the news? And ya mum and dad? Bet they were sad, daughter they never had I remember them saying?"_

Charles took a deep intake of breath. Trust Molly to make a really serious conversation so calm and fun. She wasn't wrong though, his parents adored Molly from the moment they were introduced. She fit into the family in a way that Rebecca never did and for that he was so grateful.

"_I…um…they don't know yet."_

"_Charles! We've been separated for nearly 3 months, how have you not told them? Where do they think I have been?"_

"_Well, when you were around for therapy and stuff it was easy…. and then I said you were deployed…so not a total lie really. It would kill them Molls, you know it would. And….well….telling them is admitting it's over isn't it?"_

"_Charles….."_

**And I know we're not supposed to talk  
But I'm getting ahead of myself  
I get scared when we're not  
'Cause I'm scared you're with somebody else**

Her voice was interuped by a male one, shouting her name.

"_Molly, where have you put my day sack?"_

"_It's in the med centre by my bed….give us a minute and I'll come get it"_

"_Nah I got it, but if you're free I'll make us a brew!"_

Charles could feel the jealousy twist and turn in his stomach, lead butterflies which were desperately trying to escape. The phone was silent, all he could hear was Molly's quiet breathing, and the faint noise of the movement around camp.

"_Who was that?"_

"_What?"_

"_Who was that you were talking to? Why is his kit in your tent?"_

"_Fucking hell, get a grip Charles" _

She snorted; he could imagine the face she was pulling, one reserved for when he was in deep shit. Looking back, he had been getting that face more and more recently.

"_You have no right to be asking any question, or getting jealous. Not only are we not together anymore, we are not together because you shagged your fucking medic! Your dead best friend's fiancée! So don't you dare get all high n mighty because I've answered your fucking phone call! We're not together Charles, we're not even fucking friends so leave me alone"_

And with that, the line went dead.

**You weren't a fan of pictures  
So I hardly ever took 'em  
Got them saved in my mind from the bedroom  
So that way I can't forget your skin**

Molly stared at the blank screen for a moment before standing up, brushing the sand and dirt from her legs. She was so angry, how dare he phone her up and act as if nothing had happened? Sure, she had played the role of the dutiful wife during his recovery but that didn't mean they were okay. There's a difference between caring about someone's wellbeing and forgiving the fact they shagged someone else.

"_Hey Molls, I got my bag. Did you want some tea?" _

Private Brown was suddenly at her side, breaking her train of thought. He was young; a medic in training. His strawberry blonde hair and cheeky boyish charm reminded her of her first deployment in Afghan with 2 Section. She would give the moon and stars to go back to that time.

"_No ta Browny, just goin' to go to bed. I'm knackered." _

"_No problem, that sounds like a good idea actually. Goodnight."_

She waved at him as she ducked under the flap of her tent, zipping it up afterwards. Once again, she was the lone female on this mission but truth be told, she loved it. It was so nice to have some personal space after a day of being in close proximity to a bunch of stinkin' boys. She unzipped her fleece, took off her boots and curled into the sleeping bag. Her eyes, adjusting to the light, swept over the small space she had. She had brought no personal items along with her, apart from the necessary toiletries and a picture of her and Sam, on holiday in Mexico the previous year. Charles had hated being in photos, always insisting that he was the one who had to take them. It had never bothered her at the time, because she saw him every day. She was able to lie with him each night, smell his skin and feel his arms around her. If she closed her eyes and thought hard enough, she could pretend she was still there, wrapped up in the sheets of their bed. But right now, she was irritated. She wished she had at least one picture of him, so she could see his face. He was a right shit at times, but once upon a time, he was hers. How she wished she could relive the times they had together.

**I, I miss you, yeah I miss you  
I miss you, yeah I miss you, oh I do  
I miss you, yeah I miss you  
Though I'm tryin' not to right now**

She had nearly fallen asleep when her ringtone startled her awake. She answered automatically without even checking the caller ID.

"_Hello?"_

"_Hey Molls, I'm sorry have I woke you?"_

"_What do you want Charles?"_

"_I am SO sorry Molly, I am. I made a stupid mistake, or rather, a series of stupid mistakes and I can't blame it all on being ill I know that and I am sorry. I'm sorry for getting jealous, it wasn't my place you're absolutely right. And I know I've fucked up so much. But I miss you."_

His words hung in the air for a moment. She was taken aback by his honesty, and she couldn't understand how she felt. There was still so much anger inside of her, but on the other hand, the man she loves is on the other end of the phone, laying his heart on the line.

"_I miss you too Charles. But this isn't the time or place for this discussion…I come back in 3 weeks, meet me at Brize and then we will talk."_

"_Really? Are you sure? Molly thank you, I won't let you down again I promise you!"_

"_I'm only agreeing to a chat Charles. But I'll see you then. Let me go to sleep."_

"_Of course, goodnight my darling. I love you."_

"_Ditto."_


	2. UPDATE

**Thank you all for the really lovely comments on chapter 1.**

**I intended on this to be a song fic, with unrelated drabbles. But it seems that youre all excited for me to continue the story so I will! The next chapters will not be based on song lyrics, however, I do like to use music as my muse so I will mention when I can.**

**Please continue to comment and enjoy.**

**Chapter 2 coming soon.**


	3. Chapter 2

Molly was the first one up and ready for the day, as usual. The mornings were her favourite part of the day; she was able to sit in silence and eat her coco pops in peace. When she and Charles were still together, she would use this alone time to ring him, and he would always answer, even though she knew it woke him up every time. But of course, that was in the past, despite their phone call last night. What had possessed her to invite him to meet her at Brize, or to agree to chat, or to bloody say ditto when he said he loved her?! Of course, it was true. She loved him with all her heart, always had and always would, but sometimes love just isn't enough. She couldn't touch his skin without imagining him on top of **her**; she couldn't watch him as he talked without thinking of his lips against **her**. It made her feel sick. Maybe she wouldn't talk to him when she was back, she had no obligation. Just because she'd sleepily agreed didn't mean she signed some sort of contract or something.

_"__Coco pops again Molly? Do you not get sick of that shit?" _

She looked up from her nearly empty mess tin to find Spanner standing over her. Fuck knows why the Special Forces were still here, they had done their bit weeks ago. Although she would consider the boys as her friends, most of them had even been at her wedding; they often reminded her of what she had lost within the past few years and how her life had changed dramatically since the first time she had met them. She remembered it like it was yesterday, well kind of, she was pretty wasted that night and she could only really remember being sat next to Georgie, chatting about gin. If you had told her when she was 18 that she would have a favourite gin she would have laughed and told you gin was only for posh twats. It broke her heart when Elvis died, but she couldn't mourn because Charles needed her, she needed to be strong for him. So she cried on her own, in the shower, or in bed when she was sure he was asleep. And then within months, she lost him too. First to PTSD, and then to Georgie, not to mention that bloody stupid cliff jump. Who in their right mind would think that was a good idea? But that was just the point, he wasn't in his right mind. And to add to her heartbreak, she found out that Bones had also died while Charles was recovering from his leg injury. She had to mourn in silence once again because she knew that mentioning his name to Charles would just bring up another argument. She knew they didn't get along and had some sort of stupid feud in their past, but her and Bones were secretly very good friends. They had met several times through training and on tours, and had found that they could bounce off each other well and they had similar humour, as well as a drive to complete the mission to the best of their abilities. She hadn't even taken offence when he tried to get her into bed, knowing that he was (probably) joking and (more likely) just trying to piss off Charles.

_"__Fuck off Spanner, don't try and act like me mate. I know for a fact you've been chatting to him"_

_"__Grow up Molls, letting him know where you are is not betraying your friendship. He thought you were in London with your parents for fucks sake"_

_"__Suppose..."_

She shifted in her seat to allow him to sit down next to her, her attempt at holding out an olive branch. It wasn't Spanners fault that she was pissed off at herself, and he was right, he hadn't really done anything wrong.

_"__When are you out of here? Surely you're needed somewhere else?"_

_"__Don't sound too eager for us to go! But yeah, we'll be gone by tonight"_

He nudged her softly with his shoulder and smiled as he stood up.

_"__Don't be too hard on him Molly, he is trying his best"_

_"__His best aint fucking good enough Spanner. See you back home, yeah."_

With one final wave he was gone, and Molly was alone again. Well, for another few minutes until the rest of her section woke up.

** 3 weeks later **

Her stomach was doing somersaults as the plane landed into Brize, and it wasn't because of the bumpy trip. She knew he would be there waiting for her, he may be a dickhead but he always kept his word. Apart from their wedding vows, a voice in her head added. What was she going to say to him? She had been thinking about this moment for the past 3 weeks and still couldn't think of a single thing to say to him. One half of her wanted him to scoop her up, wrap his arms around her and never let her go, the other half wanted to tell him to fuck off and die and to never see him again. She couldn't decide which side was winning at that moment.

The walk from the plane to the gate seemed too short. She stood back and watched as her section entered the building and greeted their families with open arms. This building held a whole lot of memories for her and Charles, from the first time they met, to rushing to his side at his hospital bed on her first tour, to welcoming each other home when they were away. And then, the not so happy memories of her returning from tour when he was ill to find that he wasn't waiting for her, or rushing to the hospital a second time when he injured his leg in the jungle and a third after the cliff jump. She was in the car park of Brize when she found out, completely by accident, about Georgie and Charles. And here she was again, about to step through those doors, wondering what kind of memory today was going to be.

She took a breath and walked through the door, considerably behind the rest of her section. The room was a lot emptier than she expected it to be; her section had been given leave straight after tour, as all paperwork had been completed, therefore most of them had already left to be at home with their families. But, to be honest, she could probably find his face in the busiest crowd. He was stood there, an authority figure as always, with his legs shoulder width apart and his hands tucked into his armpits. He seemed tense, in his own world as his eyes were set ahead of him. She just stood there, taking in the image of him, and felt for a second as if all of the bad shit hadn't happened, that they were still together and very much in love. When he saw her, he noticeably relaxed and smiled a smile so wide it reached his eyes. She nearly smiled back.

_"__Hey, how was your flight?"_

_"__Fine"_

His smile faulted slightly at her blunt tone, but he didn't let it deter him. He was determined to win her back. He knew he had fucked up really fucking badly, but she told him she still loved him…kind of. So there was still hope wasn't there? He had to keep trying. He put his hand out to take her bag, an almost automatic reaction, but she didn't hand it over. If anything she hung onto it tighter. He knew this was going to be difficult- Molly James wasn't known for her forgiving nature- but he didn't expect this freezing cold atmosphere. He looked at her for a minute while she was fiddling with a strap on her bag. She looked the exact same as the first day he met her, right here in this airbase. Her hair was secured in a tight plait, her skin was tanned and he didn't think he had ever seen her look so beautiful. Except maybe on their wedding day.

_"__What the fuck are you gawking at?"_

He tilted his head back and laughed- it felt so good to hear such familiar words. He took his opportunity whilst her bag was on the ground to swing it up onto his shoulder.

_"__Come on, the cars just outside. I'll drive you home."_

_"__You don't know where I live anymore mate"_

He smirked at her over his shoulder and received a scowl in return. They both knew he knew exactly where she lived, but he decided it was probably best to humour her. He didn't want to seem too much like a stalker.

_"__Well then you can direct me"_

_"__That's well kind of ya mate, I'm in Scotland now"_

_"__Liar"_

He grinned at her as she slid into the front seat of his car. He took a minute to pinch himself that he was here, with her and okay, they might not be perfect but they were laughing and that's all that mattered right now.

They drove in silence for most of the trip, Charles trying to find the right thing to say, and Molly trying her best not to let her tired eyes get the better of her. He fiddled with the radio, desperate to hear some noise, to find something to talk about. He settled with a classic, and sang along softly.

**If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
Time after time  
If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting  
Time after time**

_"__You've got the worst music taste"_

She mumbled, her eyelashes flickering against her cheek as she was awoken from a brief slumber.

_"__I knew a little bit of karaoke would wake you up. You're nearly home Sergeant James."_

She visibly flinched at the sound of her old name. She was surprised that he didn't know that she had changed it months ago, the day after she had been told by the medics she had been training about Corporal Lanes affair with her CO. They didn't know that the officer in question was in fact Molly's husband. She had waited until they had gone to cry in the car park.

_"__Dawes…..Sergeant Dawes"_

_"__Right"_

They didn't speak for the rest of the trip, until Molly had to direct him into the carpark infront of her flat. Moving out of their beautiful house had been difficult, but having to move into a one bedroom apartment, with beige walls and shabby carpeting had been excruciating. She had spent the best part of the year making their house a home, only to move out and have to start again all alone. She got out of the car first, but he beat her to the boot and lifted her Bergen onto her shoulder.

_"__Can I come in? We've got a lot to talk through, I think."_


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for your amazing responses to this story! I am totally overwhelmed and so glad you're all enjoying it! Let me know if there's anything you want to see. Also, I appreciate the timeline between Georgie and CJ cheating, Molly finding out and the cliff jump is a little jumbled but it doesn't affect the story and I'm only one person so please be kind ****J**

_"__Can I come in? We've got a lot to talk through, I think."_

Molly sighed, and looked up at him. His curls were longer than usual, almost falling into his gorgeous brown eyes as he looked at her desperately. She knew she had agreed to talk but she wasn't sure of what to say to him. She watched his hands run through his hair and wondered if they had held **her **face like they used to hold hers; his lips was set in a straight line and she thought of them tracing **her** body. Her chest felt heavy at the thought of him being in love with someone else, but right now, she wasn't ready to let him back in.

_"__Please Molly, all I'm asking is for a cup of tea and a chat. And if you never want to see me again after that, I'll respect your choice. I just need to explain myself"._

_"__One cup, that's it."_

He sighed in relief and gave her a wide, toothy smile. Slinging her Bergen on his back, he gestured for her to lead the way up to her flat.

He followed her into the building, the only sound between them being their footsteps. She thanked God in that moment that she lived on the ground floor and the uncomfortable journey was only short. She led him into the small, one bedroom flat and into the bare living room.

_"__Haven't got round to decorating"_

She followed his gaze around the room sheepishly, she suddenly felt very aware that the second hand sofa and ancient telly was a far cry from the house they used to live in together. But she had hardly taken anything when she left, just clothes and the essentials. She could that night she left as if it was yesterday

**_*4 months earlier*_**

**_Molly drove home from Brize 45 minutes later than she normally would, she was sensible enough not to drive home while she was crying. She couldn't fucking believe he would do this, and with her! Sure, they had been going through a really tough time but cheating was the last thing she thought he would ever do. Even on their worst days, she would have never accused him of being unfaithful. But she was wrong. And she had to find out though her mentees gossiping! Thank god they hadn't known that Charles was the officer in question, or else it would have been a lot more embarrassing than it already was. She had decided, some point in the 45 minutes she was crying in the car, that she would move out that night, and change her name back tomorrow. Molly Dawes was a lot of things but she wasn't an idiot. _**

**_As she pulled into their driveway, she wasn't surprised to see his car sitting waiting for her. When he stopped coming to Brize to pick her up, she lied to her co-workers, said he was busy, or on tour, or visiting his parents. But it didn't stop her heart hurting every time she came home to find that he wasn't busy; most of the time she doubted he even knew when she was coming back. _**

**_She turned her key in the lock, leaving her kit in the boot of her car. No point taking it out, she wouldn't be living here much longer. To her surprise, Charles was at the door, ready to pull her into a hug._**

**_"_****_Welcome home, my love."_**

**_He wrapped his arms around her before she could move out of the way._**

**_"_****_Get the fuck off me."_**

**_He jumped back as if she had stung him. His face a mixture of confusion and hurt as he lowered his hands and took a step back. Her words hung in the air as they stared at each other. Ironic, she thought, he hadn't tried to lay a finger on her for months. Most of the time, she wasn't even sure if he knew she was in the room. But now, of all times, he wants to be affectionate. Typical._**

**_"_****_What's wrong? Molly, what's happened?"_**

**_She stormed upstairs, not bothering to take off her boots, not caring about the mud she was trailing on the carpet. Pulling her holiday suitcase from the spare room, she began to grab her clothes from their wardrobe._**

**_"_****_Molly? Molly! What the hell?"_**

**_He reached his hand out to pull her to face him, she slapped it away._**

**_"_****_Don't you dare touch me Charles. Have you heard from Georgie recently?"_**

**_His face fell as he realised what was happening. This isn't the way he wanted her to find out, and definitely not the way he wanted them to end. He had been feeling so lost since Elvis had died, and he knew that Georgie was feeling the same way. She needed him; Molly was strong and tough, whereas Georgie was broken. Surely she would understand, they were grieving, it was an accident. He thought he had been recovering, his head was clearer now than ever. He thought he was better now, and he could focus on his marriage again. Georgie had visited him in rehab, after the jungle incident, but he hadn't seen her since. To be honest, he hadn't thought about her much the last few weeks; he had been working hard in physio and was nearly medically fit to return to 2 Section._**

**_"_****_Not since rehab, why do you ask?"_**

**_"_****_Why do I ask? Why do I FUCKING ASK? Why the fuck did I hear a conversation today that Georgie Lane has been sleeping with her Commanding Officer? And, you know, at first I was like good for her getting back out there but then I remember WHO HER FUCKING CO WAS! So go on Charles, get yourself out of this one!"_**

**_She had abandoned her mission to stuff all of her belongings in the battered suitcase and turned to glare at him, daring him to take a step closer to her. He didn't._**

**_"_****_I was unwell Molly, you were right. But I'm fine now, it was just a mistake. You understand that, surely?"_**

**_"_****_A mistake?! A FUCKING MISTAKE! You expect me to forgive you because you made a mistake? Did you pass out and wake up inside of her? Were you fucking held at gunpoint? How the fuck do you shag someone by mistake Charles?!"_**

**_"_****_I wasn't thinking right Molly. You're trained in this kind of stuff, I was ill. You can't hold it against me."_**

**_The minute it came out of his mouth, he knew he was in trouble. She tightened her grip around the jacket in her hand. When she spoke, it came out as no more than a whisper. Void of emotion, he knew at that point he had fucked up big time._**

**_"_****_Charles, if you really think that I'm being unreasonable right now, that I should forgive and forget what you've done, then you're not fixed at all. If anything, you're at your lowest. Get help, before you do something stupid."_**

**_With that, she threw a pair of trainers into the suitcase and zipped it shut. Picking it up was more difficult than she thought, how do they get so heavy even when they're not full? But she would rather be dead then let him see her struggle; she carried it down the stairs and dumped it at the front door._**

**_"_****_I love you."_**

**_She took her rings off her fingers and placed them on the sideboard. _**

**_"_****_No you don't."_**

**_And with that she closed the door behind her and left the house she had called a home for the past 4 years._**

Molly placed the cup of tea infront of him; he smiled graciously and took a small sip. If the circumstances were different, she would have laughed. She knew he hated tea, he always has, but she had no reason to keep coffee in the cupboards now she lived alone. And even if she did, he wouldn't drink it unless it was that posh shit he makes in that machine. She sat on the other end of the sofa, putting as much distance between them as the small, two seater would allow.

_"__I need to apologise Molly, the way I spoke to you was absolutely unforgiveable, and my actions were even worse. And I know it's no excuse but I really didn't know how unwell I was. You were right, the whole time. I needed help. I should have never gone back after what happened in the jungle. I was just so blinded by grief- I lost Elvis and then you. I couldn't cope."_

Molly kept her eyes focused on the mug of tea in her hands, watching as it rippled after each sip. She listened to his words over and over but couldn't form an answer she was happy with. They sat, shrouded in tension, for what felt like hours until she spoke.

_"__I understand you were unwell, and you were grieving Charles but so was I. He was my friend too, and I had to sit and watch you unravel. You didn't lose me, I lost you first. The man I married disappeared completely and was replaced with a stranger. When I left, you were at your lowest, and the scariest part was that you couldn't even tell. You didn't listen to me, and you put everyone in danger. How do you think I felt? Less than a week after I leave, you fly back to be with her? You didn't even tell me, Spanner had to."_

_"__I didn't realise until lately that you two were so close."_

_"__He told me about Bones and we grieved together. I don't give a shit about what you thought of him, he was my mate."_

_"__I know."_

Molly stood up and collected their cups, both mostly full with cold tea, and turned her back to him.

_"__I think it's best if you go, I'm tired. Thank you for bringing me home."_

_"__Can we meet up again?"_

_"__I don't know….."_

_"__I'll text you?"_

She nodded slowly and opened up the front door, waiting for him to leave. He stayed in the doorway.

_"__You're still my wife Molls, I love you so much."_

_"__If that were true, you wouldn't have shagged her."_

She caught the hurt spread across his face as she closed the door, desperate to get into bed and pretend this whole conversation never happened.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Thank you so much for all of your amazing reviews! I am totally blown away, you guys keep me going. This is probably going to be the last chapter for a week or so as my dissertation is due next week! Keep reviewing; let me know what you think and what you think should happen next. Love you all! J x**

Charles sat in the armchair, in the living room of Royal Crescent. He hadn't visited his parents for several weeks; he knew he had to tell them of his split with Molly and he had been putting it off but now he knew he had no choice. His mother and father were beginning to become suspicious, constantly asking after her and asking Charles to bring her to dinner. He said she was on tour but they knew that she was never away for so long. It had been a month since he had last seen or heard from Molly, and he was desperate to get in touch with her. He had never felt worse than he did the past few weeks, his medical leave from work only making it worse.

His mother, Gillian, placed a cup of coffee on the table and sat down opposite him, on the sofa, her teacup perched in her hands. An ex-officers wife herself, she was so fond of Molly and had created a close bond with her. She knew that something was off with Charles and his wife; before his last few tours, they were as close as ever, Molly was over for tea at least once a week and always Charles managed to slip her name into every sentence, especially when she was away. Now, she was barely mentioned. He was cold, cut off and became tense whenever his parents or Sam asked after her. She knew her son had been so ill, but Molly had been there to support him, with his leg and with whatever was going on inside his head. She hadn't noticed it at the time, but they hadn't been themselves for a while, and Gillian needed to know why.

_"__Talk to me Charles."_

Her son looked up from his coffee briefly, before his eyes darted back down to stare at the deep, brown liquid. She was so worried about him, a few weeks ago his mood had lifted so much but now, he was worse than ever.

_"__Charles! Look at your mother, and tell me the truth about what's going on."_

_"__I don't know what you mean."_

_"__Don't lie to me Charles. I know you better than you know yourself. Talk to me."_

He sighed and put his coffee cup down, still full. He rested his head in his hands before, running his fingers through his hair. He was anxious of how his mother would react to the news; he wished he had told her sooner.

_"__Molly and I are separated Mum."_

_"__Pardon? What did you say?"_

_"__Molly left me. Half a year ago. I'm sorry. I should have told you."_

Gillian was shocked by his sudden announcement, but even more shocked when she saw his son burst into tears before her. She hadn't seen him cry like that since he was a child; all she could do was hold him while he sobbed. She waited until his cries had subsided before she poured them both a whiskey and he told her the whole story.

It had become a tradition on a Friday night that Molly would go straight to Spanner's flat from her army base. It was nice to have a friend that could share her experiences in the armed forces, would grieve for their lost friends with her and didn't have close, personal ties to Charles and 2 Section. He knew them, of course, but his loyalties lay with her.

_"__How are things going Molls?" _

He asked, as he passed her a second glass of wine. They had ordered a pizza and were half-watching a stupid soap on the TV; for them both, this was the best time of the week. The chance to relax with a good friend.

_"__I'm okay, he texted me earlier in the week but I didn't reply. I was at work and by the time I remembered it was late. But yeah, I'm good."_

_"__I bumped into a friend of yours today, asked me to ask after you."_

_"__Oh yeah? Who was that?"_

_"__Lieutenant Geddings? Didn't know you guys knew eachother."_

Molly laughed, thinking back to her days in basic training, and the times she had shared with (then) Corporal Geddings. She had to admit she fancied him back then, but by the time she got into the Medical Corps, she had pretty much forgotten about him. Just another soldier she'd met on her way. It was nice to think about a time before **him**, before the heartbreak and mess.

_"__Lieutenant Geddings? Good for him. He was my corporal in basic. How do you know him?"_

_"__Army knows army Molly. You should send him a text; he seemed pretty interested in you."_

_"__Coming from the one telling me to forgive Charles?_

_"__I never said forgive, I said give him a chance. And you did. Anything from now is up to you."_

She shook her head and grinned as she polished off the last of the wine in her glass. He reached over to her and filled it up again.

After another hour, they had both had several more glasses of wine and were a little worse for wear. Molly pulled Spanners phone out of her pocket and began typing.

_"__What you doing?" _

Spanner slurred as he looked over her shoulder, to see the message she was typing out. She pressed send and handed it back, grinning.

_"__Giving him me number. If he wants to get in touch, who am I to say no?"_

They laughed, finished up the final drops of wine and headed upstairs- Molly to the spare room.

The sky was just turning light when Molly woke up. Her head was pounding and her mouth was bone dry- just another Friday with Spanner, she thought. She reached over at her phone to check the time- 06:50. And 2 texts.

_*Hi Molly, you texted me your number from Spanners phone. I hope you're okay. Text me in the morning. x *_

She only just remembered her conversation about him last night. She felt a pang of guilt, but why should she? She had every right to move on, to text and meet up with someone else. And Geddings was an old friend, he had seen her at her worst; a cocky 18 year old gobshite. She was interested, and she had every right to be. She had been completely alone for over 6 months. She typed a quick reply.

_*Mornin. Long time no speak how are u? M x*_

She scrolled down to find the second text. It was from Charles. She sighed and debated just deleting the message but her nosiness got the better of her.

_*Please don't ignore me Mol. I told my mum that we split- she's upset but she understands. Get in touch with her if you like; I know she would like that. Can we talk soon? Miss you. Love C xxx *_

_*Hungover. Talk later. M *_

She tossed her phone to the side and shut her eyes again. What a mess she was in.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Thank you all, again, for all of your amazing support! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to upload this chapter, life has taken over and so has an idea for a new story! But of course, I will be continuing Before You Go until it runs out of steam. Love J x**

Two weeks later and Moly was sat at a small local café, sipping on a cup of tea, waiting eagerly for Matthew Geddings to walk through the door. She was nervous, she hadn't been on a date in years but this past week she couldn't get him out of her head. She had spoken to Charles the day after he texted her, and found out that he was being deployed to for another peacekeeping mission. He had made her promise to have lunch with him the moment he returned, still desperate to right a year full of wrongs. The news of his deployment wasn't as devastating as she had expected it to be and she suspected that Geddings was part of the reason for this. She had been so nervous since they had agreed to meet today, but now she was excited. Dressed smartly in blue jeans and a floral blouse, she felt attractive for the first time in months, however, when he walked through the door she felt the confidence slip away as her eyes surveyed him from head to toe. He hadn't aged much, a few crinkles around his eyes and laugh lines, but still as good looking as ever. In a crisp white shirt and trousers, he looked gorgeous.

_"__Hello Molly, how are you? You look great! Do you want another tea?"_

He gave her a friendly peck on the cheek and a massive grin before he turned to order drinks. She knew she had made the right decision, she felt comfortable and happy and only a little bit guilty. She didn't even notice the stack of papers he left on his chair until he came back and placed a fresh drink in front of her.

_"__I hope you don't think I was being too forward by asking Spanner for your contact details? I had heard that you two were close so I thought it was an appropriate way."_

_"__No not at all, I were surprised yeah, but it's nice to catch up after all these years."_

_"__It sure is Molly. And I wish we had more time but a catch up is not why I asked you here today."_

She was confused and this must have shown on her face. Why else would he have texted her and asked her to meet up if it wasn't for a catch up? She was beginning to think that this was actually a very bad idea and maybe it was foolish to think that he would be interested in her after all this time. She wasn't a gobby 18 year old anymore, she was a broken twenty-something with a last name that wasn't hers.

_"__I have a proposition for you "_

_"__And what might that be?"_

_"__My wife is currently deployed in Sudan and her medic is being sent back home -couldn't handle the pressure…she asked for the best of the best."_

_"__Your wife?"_

The room seemed to spin as Molly realised- this wasn't a date, this was a business meeting. How could she have been so stupid? She glanced down at his left hand, at the gold band sitting there and was reminded of a man she once loved, who she knows would still be wearing his. Bloody idiot. However, thankfully Matthew seemed ignorant to her misreading the situation.

_"__Yes, my wife. Second Lieutenant Geddings, 4 Rifles. I told her all about you, she's eager for you to say yes. Its 6 months but is mainly a support and specialist role"._

He handed her the paperwork he had been holding, one of which was her personal profile, the other a brief mission statement. She knew immediately that she would agree, but the thought of working under Geddings's wife made her nervous- she wondered what he had told his wife, and hoped he hadn't brought up too many stories about her basic training. Her fingers flicked through the paperwork- a simple enough mission, providing specialist support to a number of other sections providing humanitarian aid. 6 months away to sort out her life, and to stay away from Charles. She allowed her mind to drift to him once more, she wondered if he would still be up for a lunch date after 6 months apart. But of course she didn't care, just wondering that's all.

_"__I'll do it. When am I leaving?"_

The relief was evident on Matthews face as he sighed in relief and grinned wide, showing off his perfect white teeth.

_"__Thank fuck, cheers Molly, I really owe you one. You'll get along well with Elsie- my wife- she's good people. And a fantastic soldier, but I guess I'm biased. But that's why I thought of you, she asks for the best and I send her the best medic the country has to offer. Leaving tomorrow morning- is that okay? They're without a medic so they really need you as soon as possible. "_

Molly nodded her head and smiled back at the man in front of her. She was excited, being away always felt better than being home- well since her and Charles ended.

As the helicopter landed into South Sudan, Molly felt a rush of excitement. Back to doing what she knew best, taking on new adventures and having no time to dwell on her own thoughts sounded like the perfect break. The woman who greeted her at the gates of the camp was tall and thin, with her platinum blonde hair in tied in a neat bun, her pale skin turning pink in the sun. She grinned a dazzling smile as Molly approached.

_"__Sergeant Dawes! Thank you so much for coming on such short notice. Welcome to Camp Khartoum. I'm second Lieutenant Geddings- but I suppose you already know that! I trust my husband gave you all the relevant information on the mission?"_

Molly followed her into camp, taking long steps to keep in pace with Geddings. The camp reminded her of Bastion- only not so busy. When she found out their role was support, she thought there would be plenty other sections and platoons here but it seems that was not the case. It seemed empty.

_"__Yeah he did. Don't mean to be rude ma'am but does it not tend to get confusing? With you both being Lieutenant Geddings n that?"_

She let out a laugh, her voice high and almost childlike as she giggled. A contrast to her flat, Birmingham accent.

_"__I've never really thought of that Molly, we don't work together so it's never been an issue. But I bet it's a right nightmare for the guys doing the paperwork and HR."_

They laughed together as 2Lt. Geddings led her to a tent.

_"__I'll let you settle in- this will be your quarters. Get some rest. Meeting at 6pm okay?"_

Molly nodded and thanked Geddings as she ducked through the doorway. Inside there were 10 beds, 5 on each side, all seemed to be taken apart from one. She almost thought she should wait until somebody turned up to ask permission to unpack her belongings, but there was the only bed so it was clearly meant for her. It's not like she had brought much anyway, she never brought stuff from home or any sentimental bollocks. Since she was alone, she preferred to keep her army life and civvi life separate. But there was always one thing she carried, a picture, which she carefully removed from her bag. A picture of her and a little boy with curly hair and dark eyes just like his daddy. Cuddled up on a beach in Mexico; it was the only thing that ever brought her comfort. She took a moment to just sit on her bed and sink into her thoughts and memories of the past few years. Her wedding day, holidays and Christmas's. Charles and she sitting on the sofa on a Friday night with a takeaway, or in the garden in Spring, or on the beach in their coats because even in the summer, the British coast is never warm enough to remove the layers.

Frustrated with herself, she placed the picture under her pillow. What was wrong with her recently? He seemed to have found his way into her thoughts every minute in the last 24 hours- since she accepted the position that found her in Sudan. She stood up, about to unpack, when she heard someone coming into the tent.

_"__Molly?"_

Her head whipped around at the sound of her own name and she couldn't believe what she was seeing. The tall, slim figure with olive skin and dark hair in the doorway seemed as shocked as Molly felt. The woman who had put the final nail in the coffin of her relationship, who had slept with her husband and betrayed their friendship, was stood in front of her, lost for words. Molly could feel the anger bubbling up inside of her, if she was a cartoon character, her skin would be turning red and steam coming out of her ears. But she was an adult, and she wouldn't give this bitch the satisfaction of seeing that kind of emotion.

_"__Corporal Lane. "_


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Thank you all, as always, for your kind reviews and taking the time to read this story- it means so much to me! I can only apologise for the delay in this chapter. I work for the NHS so the past month or so has been really crazy. Stay safe and stay home! Also how are you all enjoying the new season of OG? I'm really loving it, but I do miss CJ, the new officer is the worst. I'm looking forward to seeing more and hope that CJ and Molly's future together gets mentioned. However, I am still persuing this story the way I had planned, so it won't involve characters and storylines from the newest season.**

**I'm also sorry that my chapters always seem to be so short! I prefer little and often, it helps to keep me motivated and to prevent writers block. As always, if you've got any thoughts or suggestions please let me know! Love J x**

_"__Corporal Lane."_

Mollys expression stayed stoic, her green eyes fixed on the woman in front of her. Jealousy burned in the pit of her stomach as she took in Georgies lean, tanned body and beautiful face; no wonder Charles had chosen her, who wouldn't?

_"__Lance Corporal, I, erm, got demoted."_

Molly turned her attention back on unpacking her Bergen, desperate to hide the smile that was playing on her lips. It felt good to see the guilty, embarrassed and anxious expression on Georgies face. Silence hung between the pair of them for a moment as Molly pulled her hair out of the (now messy) bun it was currently tied in and worked on pulling it into her signature braid.

_"__Can't say am surpised. You did a lot of stupid shit."_

_"__I know. And I wish I could take them back."_

_"__Yeah well, I wish I had the last 5 years back but here we are."_

With that, Molly picked up her rifle and pushed past Lane leaving her stood shocked in the doorway.

After their meeting, Molly found herself walking side by side with Geddings as she circled the camp, getting to know her bearings. She liked her new CO, she was warm and funny and treat Molly as an equal, something she had always craved. Even when she and Charles had been together, she had always felt the gap between them, whether that be age, wealth or rank. Elsie talked to her like an old friend, and Molly began to feel at home again.

_"__Did you hear me Molly?"_

_"__What? Nah, sorry Elsie, I dazed out a little there. What was that?"_

_"__Even though you're my medic and you'll be attached to 4 Rifles, I still want you to get to know the other sections. Medics are scarce, and you're the highest ranking so we may have to share you. I'll take you to meet our corresponding section, they're just getting briefed. I want you there."_

Molly nodded as she followed her superior to a tent identical to the one they had just been in. She knew the drill, had been in this situation a thousand times, but was disappointed at the prospect of not being permanently assigned with her new section, but medics had to be flexible. The guys had made her feel so welcome, and she had quickly begun to form banter and status within the group. She had enjoyed the evening so much, that she had forgotten about her run in with Lane, and who that must mean was on camp. She followed Geddings into the tent, her mind still elsewhere.

_"__Good evening Captain. Sorry to interrupt. May I introduce my medic? I thought it best that she was kept up to date on the mission from both ends, so that she will be able to assist where needed. I'm aware of how much of a wildcard your medic is. This is Sargeant Dawes. She's a highly recommended and decorated soldier; I'm sure she will be an asset to us both."_

Mollys eyes adjusted to the darkness of the tent to find the room full of familiar faces, but her eyes were glued to the Captain at the front of the room, his face unreadable. She forgot how gorgeous he looked in his uniform, with grime and dust caked over his skin; this was the man she fell in love with. But, at the same time, he wasn't. There was tiredness behind his eyes that she had never seen before, his frown lines more pronounced and his forehead more wrinkled. He looked a lot older. She could hear her friends, her wonderful 2 Section, saying hello, surprised and excited that she was there. But she couldn't move, couldn't turn to them to say hello.

_"__Thank you Lt Geddings. Good to see you again Sargeant Dawes, have a seat, you've not missed much."_

Elsie squeezed her shoulder and left, as Molly took a seat at the back next to Fingers. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed her tight.

_"__Good to see you Molls."_

He whispered. She smiled and spent the next 45 minutes trying to concentrate on the mission statement being described by her ex-husband. They were to provide humanitarian aid to the local community, including the construction of medical buildings, orphanages and schools. The armed forces were only involved due to the volatile history of the area, they are not there to get involved with police or military matters unless essential. 4 Rifles were there to provide specialist training for 2 Section (and other military personnel). Mollys role was to provide specialist medical training to the medics, as well as the rest of their section.

_"__That's it for tonight you lot, get some scoff then some sleep. PT at 0500 hours, that does not include you Sergeant Dawes. 4 Rifles will be providing some training tomorrow, ready to begin our mission the day after. Goodnight."_

2 Section filed out the tent, many of them stopping to hug and chat to Molly. It felt good to be back with her lads again, and she saw some new faces, including a young looking medic. But the thought of spending the next 6 months with Georgie and Charles made her stomach churn. Was this a terrible decision?

_"__Sergeant Dawes, can I have a word please?"_

Of course she couldn't sneak past him. She rolled her eyes and walked back to the front of the tent where he was clearing away some papers. They stood in silence until they were the only ones left.

_"__Sir"_

She stood to attention and saluted him; a move she knew would make him frown.

_"__What are you doing here Molly?"_

_"__Same thing you are Sir, hoping to make a difference. My job."_

_"__I didn't know you were being deployed, you've just got home from Haiti. You need to slow down."_

_"__Not to be rude Sir, but that's my business not yours. If that's all?"_

She went to turn away but Charles caught her wrist and pulled her back to him. His touch seemed to burn her skin; he must have felt it too because he pulled away as quickly as he had grabbed her.

_"__You've been ignoring me"_

_"__You're my ex-husband. We're not meant to be the best of friends."_

_"__Fuck Molly, I __**am not**__ your ex-husband. We're just separated. You're my wife and I want to know where you are, and if you're safe."_

_"__Well I'm sure that'll be a lot easier now I'm here. Just do me a favour yeah?"_

_"__Anything?"_

_"__Don't shag her while I'm on the same camp. It's disrespectful."_

And with that, she stormed out, ignoring him shouting after her.


End file.
